umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
