But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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