he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
