He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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