You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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