Can i not drive my cunt home
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Drake has all the answers
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
