one might say we're banned from that church
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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