I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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