Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
