ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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