dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
