Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
