I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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