I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
