Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
