My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
either way he was missing a nipple.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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