Define "chronic" masturbator.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
then he tried to convert me to islam
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Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
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he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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