i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
