You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
