yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
