He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
