I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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