ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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