and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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