She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize