Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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