i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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