It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
