it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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