Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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