don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize