those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
