He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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