My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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