So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
