i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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