mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
