this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
