he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
