i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
