He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Did I show you my penis last night?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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