If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My bed smells like the plague
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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