sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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