it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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