What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You need a sexual gate keeper
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
