That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
