Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize