I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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