woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
