fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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