Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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