she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
