i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
