i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
