Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
a search helicopter?!
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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