why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
