So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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