make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
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