Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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