he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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