You really coming over, don't trick.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Pooping to opera.
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