He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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