bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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